Scratches are Forever

I think my car got keyed the other day. Or maybe sideswiped? I don’t know, and I don’t really care either. Let me explain…

The year is 2000. I have no ring on my finger yet. Some friends had a bet as to when Colin would propose to me. Amber guessed 2000 and Tim guessed 2001. As the year was coming to a close, Colin said, “I think Amber’s prediction is going to be right”, meaning, “I’m going to propose before the end of the year”.

As the days grew closer and closer to year-end, I was increasingly more excited every time we saw each other, as I knew “the day” was coming soon! At our New Years Eve party, I could barely contain myself! TODAY WAS THE DAY!! If Amber's prediction really is correct (as Colin says it is), it would HAVE to be tonight at this party!!

I really started to stress out as the hours ticked on without a proposal. Then the countdown:

10…

9…

8…

7…

6…

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

Nothing. Happy stinking New Year.

Up to this point, I’d been saving up money for our wedding, but had yet to earn the bling. And since Colin tricked me, I blew all I’d saved up on my first car a few days later.

I let Colin choose the car for me, since he’s the mechanic who’d be doing all the maintenance. And I knew NOTHING about cars.

My budget wasn’t huge, so I ended up with a 1984 VW Diesel Jetta.

I’m not sure how he talked me into buying a standard (or a 1984 VW Jetta), as I didn’t know how to DRIVE one. I learned on the freeway on the way home from Vancouver though.

Colin proposed 10 days later. He claims he thought Amber predicted 2001, not 2000. So now I have a junky car and no money.

Right from the get-go, this car was a PIECE (surprised?). Being a diesel, it had “glow plugs” (is that even a technical term??) instead of spark plugs. I can’t remember how I got it started, but I know it involved a lot of waiting to let the glow plugs warm up, button pressing, hood opening, and an occasional push start at 4 way stops.

Our first basement suite was on a steep hill. The e-brake didn’t work, so I had to park at the top of the hill where it was flat, and walk down to our place.

The horn was a small button somewhere near my knee.

Within the year, I noticed that when I depressed the clutch pedal on a rainy day, my foot got a shower. Kinda pathetic to need boots to drive. Initially, Colin took the carpet off floor and noticed that there were holes all over the bottom of the car.

Sing along to find out what happened next:

“There’s a hole in my beater, dear Colin, dear Colin.

There’s a hole in my beater, dear Colin, a hole.”

“Then cover it dear Nancy, dear Nancy, dear Nancy.

Then cover it dear Nancy, dear Nancy, cover it.”

“With what shall I cover it, dear Colin, dear Colin?

With what shall I cover it, dear Colin, with what?”

“With my old sock, dear Nancy, dear Nancy, dear Nancy.

With my old sock, dear Nancy, dear Nancy,  my old sock.”

“The sock is not sticky, dear Colin, dear Colin.

The sock is not sticky, dear Colin, not sticky”.

“Then wet it, dear Nancy, dear Nancy, dear Nancy.

Then wet it, dear Nancy, dear Nancy, wet it.”

“With what shall I wet it, dear Colin, dear Colin?

With what shall I wet it, dear Colin, with what?”

“With fiberglass dear Nancy, dear Nancy, dear Nancy!

With fiberglass dear Nancy, dear Nancy, with fiberglass!”

So Colin mixed up the stinky concoction, saturated the sock and WHACKED it onto the holes, where it will sit for all of eternity.A jackhammer wouldn't get that off.

Turns out the holes weren’t the problem though. Now, the perfectly sealed car floor filled up like a foot bath, as there were no drain holes anymore. It was the window seal that leaked. I did the worst caulking job you’ve ever seen in your life around that windshield. The window looked like it was oozing jell-o. But hey. I was sick of being wetter INSIDE my car than I was OUTSIDE.

We got rid of it eventually. One of Colin’s friends asked if he could BUY it from us. Um…ok? If you insist! Another friend was selling his 1994 Purple VW Golf GTI, so we bit the bullet and bought a better car.

I loved that GTI. Not the day we got it, because our friend hit a skunk the day before, but all the other days. It drove awesome, hugged the road curves and practically begged me to drive faster! It didn’t do well on logging roads on the Sunshine Coast though. Maybe because it was lowered?

I would have kept that car forever, however, with both of us in school full time, tuition had to be paid. I cried as it drove away…

Enter…the ’92 Honda Civic. We proved the statistic that says Honda Civics get stolen more than any other car. It got stolen once and broken into two (maybe three) times. Granted, I used to watch crack deals at my apartment, so we weren’t living in the best part of town (PoCompton, as some might say).

In a one month time period, we had to pay $900 in deductibles to fix the damage. That’s when we got smart and stopped locking it. Nothing bad happened after that.

Fast forward several years of Civic bliss. Nathan was about to arrive and a 2 door isn’t ideal for those bulky baby seats. The car still worked pretty well, even though it had reached “beater” status. We sold it for cheap, informed the guy of all its problems, and took him for a terrifying test drive. He couldn’t drive a standard to save his life. 

We received a nasty phone call shortly after he bought it, as the clutch died on the Port Mann bridge on his way home. I wonder why it broke? He put more wear and tear on the poor clutch in 20 minutes than I EVER did. Gee whiz. Who in their right mind buys a standard if they can’t even DRIVE standard??? Oh wait…

With the exit of the Honda in 2007, my 1996 Toyota Corolla came into the family! The newest car I’ve ever owned! Rear defrost! 4 doors! Power locks and steering! Maybe my tendonitis has a chance to heal now.

I really liked this car. I was proud of it until a friend called it a beater. I honestly thought she was kidding. I mean, it runs AWESOME! Then she reminded me that it is nearly 15 years old. Which is how old my ’84 Jetta was when I bought it.

Ok, yes so this small list may make my car a beater:

-         Headlight is held on with packing tape (maybe we should fiberglass that)

-         Half the dash lights are burnt out (which makes seeing my speedometer impossible in the dark)

-         Heat doesn’t work anymore (I forgot about that one over the summer)

-         The seatbelt warning light has flashed nonstop since I got the car

-         The e-brake light is always on (even though the dash lights are out)

-         The interior lights are gone (I think Evan’s to blame for that one)

-         I took the right side mirror out with a construction cone. Colin tried to fix it with a DIY kit. Now, objects in the mirror are less distorted than they appear. Business on the left mirror and Fun House on the right

-         Countless scratches and scrapes from speed parallel parking in Vancouver alleys (don’t diss me. I’m a parallel parking BOSS. You should see what I shoehorn myself into. I’m not gonna lie though, I occasionally touch a cement wall or telephone pole, especially when I’m running late)

-         Leaks oil

-         Gouges from Colin dropping stuff (like skis and shovels) on it while working in the garage

The main reason I don’t care about how awful it looks, is because I park in Vancouver alleys. You never know when someone’s going to scraaaape all the way along the side of your car, smash your bumpers while parking, or bust the windows to get an empty water bottle worth 5 cents. If something happens, I honestly don’t care (as long as I don’t have to make a claim through ICBC)!

If I sound like I'm trying to be un-materialistic, I’m not. I’m not better than those of you who take pride in your cars. I just use my materialism elsewhere (like an iPhone 4 or higher, Colin, preferably before Thanksgiving).

So until I run that sucker into the ground and NEED a new car, I plan on parading around in my Corolla, dents, scratches, tape and all. As Mater, a wise tow truck once said, “I don't get them dents buffed, pulled, filled or painted by nobody. They way too valuble. I come by each one of 'em with my best friend. I don't fix these. I wanna remember these dents forever.