Happy Thanksgiving, Deer

Happy belated Thanksgiving! We spent the weekend where we usually do on Canadian Thanksgiving… in the States.

Since we head down every year, I wanted to do something a little different than usual, so I decided to turn my trailer into a “Thanksbucks”. I brought my espresso machine and served Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Caramel Macchiatos and Crème Caramel Lattes (among others) to whoever came by. It was a lot of fun!

I almost got busted by the Park Ranger for not having a concession license but when he found out they were free, I was all good. Evan, on the other hand, was hustling out of a wagon.

Every year, the kid’s Preschool has a “mandatory fundraiser”. You must, MUST sell 30 chocolate bars for $2 each. Oh, and don’t send the coins in. They require a CHEQUE for $60. So basically, we give the school $60 and then I have $60 in change to waste spend on coffee.

This is our 4^th and thankfully last year to do this. We got the box right before the trip, so we brought it with us. Colin and Evan went from site to site, selling the chocolates to the hungry hunters who shared the campground with our crew. He pawned them all off except 5. The best part? We were paid mostly in USD! Nice!

Since Thanksgiving was quite late this year, we were lucky enough to be at the campground at the commencement of the hunting season. The campground is obviously a no-hunting zone. The deer must know that, because it is FULL of deer. They mosey around the campsite, and you can get quite close to them before they spook and bound off. I once stood in one place and counted 40.

The Park Ranger came by to our campsite in the morning and “warned” us that the hunters may be bringing back their kill later in the day.

“Yup, we’re veterans of hunting season at this campground” I said, trying to look tough. Sadly enough, we have experienced this several times. Not the kids though.

I decided it was necessary to prep the kids for what they might see later. In their short number of years on the planet, they have no experience at all seeing dead animals (except fish and crab), and certainly nothing as big as a deer. Their poor innocent and pure eyes and minds are about to get a shock. I, Mama Bear, must protect them.

Me: “[blah, blah, blah] camo [blah, blah blah] guns [blah, blah, blah] shoot [blah, blah, blah] dead. Then, the hunters are going to hang the dead deer in the trees from their antlers. How does that make you feel?”

Nathan (wide-eyed): “AWWWWWWWWWWESOME!”

Clearly this won’t scar them for life.

Sure enough, I looked out the trailer window a bit later in the day as I was waking up from a nap and saw a lifeless deer hanging by it’s antlers from a nearby tree.

I have never in my life seen my kids get their shoes on so fast. Nathan is practically running as he puts his shoes on mid-stride. And Evan? If he EVER falls limp on the floor and says, “I don’t know how to put my shoes on!” EVER AGAIN… I swear…. I’ve seen proof, Evan.

I break into a sprint so I can get there first. I want to assess the gore factor before they get too close. I probably looked like a red-neck woman who just couldn’t WAIT to get a good look at the kill. Not so. 

First, I asked the hunters if we could come and take a look. Talk about inflated egos. I purposefully corral the kids to one side, the side without the bullet hole or slashed open belly. Yes I realize this is, like, the best day of Nathan’s life, but let’s ease into it.

A few quiet moments of reflection, and then the questions/comments come out like rapid-fire.

 “Can I pet it?”

“Why are his eyes open?”

“Is it dead?”

“Look! There’s blood dripping from his bum!”

“Why does his belly have a cut?”

“How did it die?”

“OH LOOK! There’s where the gun shot it!!!”

I managed to tear them away from the CSI scene before they noticed the slice through the, um, throat. We went back to our campsite. Not long after, a truck drove by with a dead bear on the back of it, and it stopped just feet from our site.

Here we go again.

“Are his claws still sharp?”

“Can I pet it?”  (ENOUGH WITH THE TOUCHING!! IT’S DEAD!!!)

“Are you going to eat it?”

“Look! His tongue is hanging out of his mouth!”

I just wished it was Bob.

Later still, Nathan ran up to me and exclaimed, “MOMMY!!! COME SEE!!! They’re peeling off the deer’s fur and now you can see the MEAT inside!!!”.

Um, no thanks. I have to, um, make a latte.